I never realized.....by Chiney

how much your kids weigh on your heart <3

Life it not fair. It's so hard to instill this in your kids. They want a prefect life, fly by the seat of your pants, soak up the sun life. And I wish I could give it to them, but I can't. Life just is not fair.

My oldest Andrew will be 18 in August ( and yes it flies by) He has been raised a good kid. Not saying mistakes have never been made. But he has learned from everyone of them. He has worked the same job since he turned 16. He has paid his own cell phone bill. He has paid his own car payment. He has paid his own insurance. I honestly cannot think of one time I have helped him with his bills. He attends school and works hard to make good grades. He takes hard classes ( Honor classes) without me telling him to. He has a plan for his life after school. He is polite and very funny. He loves being the oddball.
And yet because he chooses to date a wonderful girl. A polite, nice, beautiful, well raised girl, who happens to be African American. He has had to deal with rude/hateful family members, choices, racism, decisions, no child should have to make. Not for someone they love.
So much for the easy road.



And my 10 yr old son, Noah. He has ADD and OCD with high anexity. He has to take meds daily to help him even get through life. Some of these meds he will have to take forever.
He has to deal with teachers and kids who do not/cannot understand the way he is. He gets bullied alot because he is different. He takes "everyday" things and makes them 100 times bigger than they are. He feels alone sometimes, he feels different, and at times life feels "hopelesss" to him.
His counslor says "he lives in the same box we all live in, but his box is just alot wider and taller"
And I knew early on, around 1 yr, he was so much more ( can I say different??) than my other boys. I just dealt/waited/prayed he would outgrow it. He would mature and change. And even now, as he is coming up on his 11th birthday, that he can finally deal with his problems. This will be my prayer everyday of his life I fear.

And thier pain pulls at my heart like nothing else can.............