Sometimes.. by Tracy

Sometimes I get depressed..
When I do I seem to have trouble with other areas of my life.. I don't deal well with change and things are changing too fast... My mother is moving in with us...Maddie is starting Kindergarden.. Josh moved out this year...Anna Grace's terrible twos don't seem to be letting up at all... I'm worried about Willow's eye... Ray is still working two jobs after all these years... It's just alot to take in.... and I'm just not good at taking stuff in...


I just have to remind myself to breathe sometimes....


Picture added.... Maddie...years ago....

The girls... by Tracy

Tomorrow is Maddie's last day of preschool... so in two months she will start kindergarten.. :( I'm not ready for her to be this age.. The big 5!!! She knew that when preschool was over that her birthday was close but apparently she doesn't realize she has to wait a month for it.. cause she kept saying that after tomorrow it would be her birthday.. So now she is upset that she has to wait for it...


I had an appointment this morning and had to take Anna Grace with me.. She asked at least 3 women to hold her while we were there.(2 did)... She is not scared of a stranger unless it is a man. She will ask complete strangers to hold her in Walmart and ask their name and tell them her name. She's just friendly like that. This is why she will NEVER be allowed out of the buggy no matter how big she gets... I can just see her at age 12 still sitting in the buggy at Walmart.. asking WHY MOM?? Because you are too nice!!!

Picture added... Anna Grace dressed up in one of our lastest yard sale finds..

Mikey.....by Tracy

Mikey is my 14 yo son.. he was so sweet on Mother's Day.. His Dad called and asked if he wanted to go fishing and he came and asked me if I cared if he left or did I want him to stay with me.. I let him go... Then he got home and I had cooked supper and he made my plate for me.. I just wasn't expecting any of that from him..

He is so smart too.. When school starts again he will be in the 10th grade.. He is taking so many hard classes.. French I, Honours Algebra II, Honours English, Honours Science and Medical Diagnostics.... I still think he will end up in the medical field...

He told me the other day he was a nerd.. You could tell he was proud of it...

I love him so much....


Picture added.. Mikey being silly.. He took a picture of their bathroom when we were on vacation in FL last year to show how small it was....

Anna Grace ..... by Tracy

Tonight Anna Grace wanted her "Shawny" (Chiney)... It was so cute when she said it... Anna Grace loves everybody.. She is who we call our little 'Walmart Greeter'.. She's always asking people at Walmart to hold her.. I'm talking about complete strangers!!.. yes, I know how dangerous but I don't how to tell at 2 year old that she can't go with people she doesn't know so I just watch her really close
She is the most challenging child I've ever had.. She will run away from me in a second.. When I was pregnant with Willow she would take off down the driveway. It was kinda funny watching me run after her at 8 1/2 months pregnant. When she wants her way she will scream and she is very hardheaded...
I love her though and she has the most beautiful smile and eyes....




Picture added... Beautiful Anna Grace (Cheyenna Sue Grace--named after Chiney)

I never realized.....by Chiney

how much your kids weigh on your heart <3

Life it not fair. It's so hard to instill this in your kids. They want a prefect life, fly by the seat of your pants, soak up the sun life. And I wish I could give it to them, but I can't. Life just is not fair.

My oldest Andrew will be 18 in August ( and yes it flies by) He has been raised a good kid. Not saying mistakes have never been made. But he has learned from everyone of them. He has worked the same job since he turned 16. He has paid his own cell phone bill. He has paid his own car payment. He has paid his own insurance. I honestly cannot think of one time I have helped him with his bills. He attends school and works hard to make good grades. He takes hard classes ( Honor classes) without me telling him to. He has a plan for his life after school. He is polite and very funny. He loves being the oddball.
And yet because he chooses to date a wonderful girl. A polite, nice, beautiful, well raised girl, who happens to be African American. He has had to deal with rude/hateful family members, choices, racism, decisions, no child should have to make. Not for someone they love.
So much for the easy road.



And my 10 yr old son, Noah. He has ADD and OCD with high anexity. He has to take meds daily to help him even get through life. Some of these meds he will have to take forever.
He has to deal with teachers and kids who do not/cannot understand the way he is. He gets bullied alot because he is different. He takes "everyday" things and makes them 100 times bigger than they are. He feels alone sometimes, he feels different, and at times life feels "hopelesss" to him.
His counslor says "he lives in the same box we all live in, but his box is just alot wider and taller"
And I knew early on, around 1 yr, he was so much more ( can I say different??) than my other boys. I just dealt/waited/prayed he would outgrow it. He would mature and change. And even now, as he is coming up on his 11th birthday, that he can finally deal with his problems. This will be my prayer everyday of his life I fear.

And thier pain pulls at my heart like nothing else can.............

Love Summer....by Chiney

I hate winter. Well, "I" don't hate it, my body does. I suffer from Sad (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and I mean I SUFFER. I try to keep myself busy with projects ( painting/ redid my kitchen/reading/crafts/etc) But the feelings are still there. I barely get the bills paid ( thanks for Tracy), I rarely go anywhere, I don't ever sleep, I cry for no reason. I am not a "happy" person all winter :(

Luckily we have had some awesome weather the last few weeks.
I have made myself get out and work. Soak up the sunshine. :)
I've managed to plant a wonderful little raised garden bed "Yummmmmm!"
I spent 2 days cleaning out the pool ( I forgot the winter cover last year ) and I even got in the water ;) Hope to finish it this week
I planted tons of plants ( all free) and some bushes
I have bought and repotted several houseplants
I killed all the wasps nests around here
I opened the windows ( I even cleaned a few)
And I've even done some outside spring cleaning

And was tickled I got a small sunburn..................

And following a stressful week, I am re-quitting smoking first thing Monday morning

Noah.. by Tracy

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I just wanted to say how proud I am of Chiney's 10 yo son Noah.. He has OCD and ADD and takes meds every day, goes to counceling twice a week and deals with lots of issues at school.. He is just a wonderful kid and I love him so much.







Picture added... Noah during our vacation last year at the Florida Aquarium..